Class

A college nearby is offering a Art class, so i went today. I was a little nervous at first; i've never learned how to paint or draw...everything i've ever done has been in wire sculpture or polymer clay or ceramics. So i did a rough version of the mannequin torso, sneaker, ball, and flowers as best i could...messing around with things. But by the time we were doing the "final" piece, i had gone into my own little world. I vaguely remember stroking the harsh lines with my hands; making sure they were soft and smooth looking. I remember using the leftover charcoal on my fingers to detail muscles. I remember the flowers in the vase...how the ceramics looked like it was spinning and the light was only gleaming off of certain parts of the vase. Finally, i remember not caring that the room was filled with at least 11 other people that i did/do not know, and just doing what i wanted anyway.

Just Breathe.

Dear ___,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that when you finally reached out, and asked me for my help, i said no. I've spent years telling you that i'm here for you, that i'm supporting you. Then you ask me to come, and support you, and i say no. This decision has plagued me every day for months. I'm sorry that while i always encouraged you to put the cigarette down, i never reached and put it out myself. I'm sorry i refused to come to counceling with you, when you were nervous and maybe even scared. I'm sorry that i always second-guess why your talking with me, i'm sorry i always tell myself i'm your last resort. Because the truth is, i should count myself lucky that you still want to talk to me, if not for the neglect i've shown you then for the simple truth that we are so different.

I'm sorry i'm typing this on a stupid blog and not telling you in person, because i'm too scared.
-OnyxLunacy

And I Wear It For The Thousands Who Have Died.

The night is a warmth,
where the world lulls its sleepy heads into an alternate reality;
their dreams come true and fears manifest.
But there is no sleep for the weak and weary,
only blank spaces of time,
occupied by unidentifyable darkness.
It is within these times the nightmares of reality hurts the most;
regardless of your slumbering state,
daylight will come...
making the world arise from its pause in reality.
Those who do not sleep,
are left in their false hopes.
when the world wakes up,
but leaves them "sleeping".
Because they will never know the difference.